humor
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World
Fifty Years Since the Lunar Invasion
My fellow-citizens of the moon, Today marks fifty years since we narrowly avoided annihilation. On July 20, 1969, we were…
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World
Focus-Group-Testing Takeaways for the Next Social-Media Platform
Posts No more “likes,” “favorites,” or “hearts.” Instead, you think there should be only an “acknowledge” button. Participants in our…
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World
From the Diary of Emma Lazarus
November 2, 18-something Today was wild. I was eating gray toast on an icy bench in Union Square with Sandy.…
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World
How to Get the Exact Amount of Cream Cheese You Want on Your Bagel
You love bagels, but you don’t want too much cream cheese. If you’re a savvy orderer, that should be no…
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World
But What About
Did I rob the bank? Sure. But what about the bank? Banks commit white-collar crimes all the time—in this case,…
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World
Peter Parker: A Superhero, But Also a Teen, Just Like You!
Behold, true believers! The Amazing Spider-Man! By night, he’s a crime-fighting superhero on the streets of New York. But by…
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World
My Review of the Big Parade After Being Locked in the Trunk of My Car
Ah, summer—full of barbecues, beach days, and ice-cold glasses of lemonade. But my favorite summer event is always the big…
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World
You’re Invited to My Early-Two-Thousands-Themed Party!
Calling all hollaback girls and sk8er bois who want to bring the sexy back. You’re invited to my early-two-thousands-themed party!…
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World
Woman Quits Job After Being Forced To Spend Week With Trump
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—A British woman quit her job, on Friday, after being forced to spend the better part of…
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World
Mueller Stirs Controversy by Urging Americans to Read
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The special counsel Robert Mueller ignited a firestorm of controversy on Wednesday by recommending that millions of…
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